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A Diamond isn't Forever

Everyone has heard the saying "A Diamond is Forever" on countless radio and television ads for Jewelry stores. Recently I got hitched and came up with my own Diamond System: For each diamond you have on your wedding ring and band, equals one year of marriage. I recently started telling people this, which leads to the woman counting each diamond on her band then you hear, seven, eight, twelve, twenty and so on. That is part 1 of my Diamond System.

Part 2: If you have a right hand ring, you have to count those diamonds, too. This is when my sister realized her marriage will last a lot longer than she thought!

Part 3: Any other diamond jewelry your husband buys for you counts. Necklaces, bracelets, earrings, watches, etc.

The plan: you convince your husband this is the "rule" of a lasting marriage, thererfore, he purchases you more bling bling for birthdays and holidays and adds to the length of your marriage. I cannot guarantee this is going to make your marriage happy, but you may have a temporary beaming smile when you get to wear and show off your new rock(s). 

This "rule" is somewhat similar to the tradition of buying your soon-to-be husband or wife a present and giving it to him or her just before the two of you marry. You know what I'm talking about and most people ask the bride what she got from her now husband. There is no stated law that says the guy must buy the gal a present before they marry, but guys think they have to do this because this is just what you do. This is what I am trying to establish.

How long will my marriage last? 29 years. Yes, I have 29 diamonds on my wedding band. One in the middle and 14 on each side. The first 14 are from my wedding band, the other 14 are from a band I recently purchased as a memory of my grandpa who passed away this August. Technically he helped pay for the second set of 14 diamonds, so if you follow my Diamond System, my marriage will last 15 years. I'll be sure to convince my husband of this so he remembers he has 15 years to figure out what he can buy me next.

 

After reading this it may seem like I am a snotty wife who wants bling bling for every birthday, holday and anniversary. Well, this is not the case at all. I only wanted one, 2.5 carat diamond on my ring when I got married. One diamond, 2.5 carats. I seriously thought it was the least my husband could do when he propsed because I have never once asked him to purchase jewelry for me, not once. Then I started to look at the price of a 2.5 carat diamond, let me just say that today, Costco.com has a 2.01 carat round loose diamond for $28,999.99. And that's a half carat shy of my "requirement". That was a reality check for me. Besides, the 5.5 carat diamond ring the jewelry store let me try on felt very cheap, eventhough it was over $60,000!

On top of all of this, I received the email below today! Husbands (and anyone else) can always shop our store or the marketplace and use the coupon below. 

 

Comments

Shameless ad at the bottom of your blog. Ugh I hate when people do that! Anyways, I'm slightly offended by your post. Only because I do not have 14 diamonds in my wedding band, I have 5. And I have 5 in my engagement ring. So that means I will only be married for 10 years! I won't even get to have kids by then or move into a million dollar home! Ugh. I at least need 15 years! So, does it count if I go out and buy myself more diamonds, or do they have to come from DH to count? Being a math teacher, I would like to actually use a formala in which carat size and quality are also exponential factors or at least direct variations to your exising theory.

Damn it Kari. I already am at 22. If I tell Rob your theory, it will be 21 years before I get another diamond. There must be a clause.

Cassie-
Yes, the diamonds have to come from your husband to count. Don't worry, in five years he can get you some more, and that will at least prolong your attempt to move into a million dollar home by one year. I like your idea about a formula for carat size counting for years. Get your students working on that. We'll have to come up with a name. Maybe the KC Diamond Rating Theory? Okay, okay, I'll accept CK so your name is first!
Kari

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