The Turkey Sandwhich
The post below was actually from October 6th 2008 during my trip to Las Vegas to visit the Fabtech show at the Las Vegas Convention Center.
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I'm trying to kill some time to keep from blowing even more money down in the Casino, so I will share with you my flight story on my way out to Vegas for the Fabtech show (hey maybe my job aint so bad).
I decide since you now have to pay for a meal on all NWA flights that I would buy something to eat at the airport. Suprisingly I'm on schedule, so I have time and stop at Charley's Subs down at the north end of the terminal by my gate.
I board the plane, and decide that I'm going to eat my turkey and cheddar sandwhich later and will save it when they do the beverage service. I set the sandwhich on my lap but all I can smell, and so I can only imagine all the people within three rows of me can smell is turkey and cheddar. Being the courteous flyer that I am I decide to put the sandwhich down on top of my computer bag, which eliminated the smell issue (from the sandwhich anyway).
As we are taxing out to the runway, I already feel the need to stretch out, and do so by placing my right foot on top of my computer bag and pushing forward until I can feel the stretch in my thigh. Just as I'm loosening up as much as you can on an airplane, and feeling a bit relaxed, it hits me...MY SANDWHICH!!!!
You guessed it, I pushed my own sandwhich with my own foot up under the seat so I can neither see or reach it with my hands or my feet.
BALLS!
I slowly pull my computer bag towards me hoping the sandwhich is lodged on my bag and will come back with it, averting any catastrophic meltdowns on my part. I pull the bag all the way out and no white take home food container is with it.
DOUBLE BALLS!
Now I paid 6.75 plus tax for this baby (sandwhich only), so there is no way I'm letting this thing get away. I tap the woman in front of me on the shoulder, and ask, "Excuse me, but is there a white food container at your feet?"
She replies something in some sort of swahili language that I couldn't even begin to pretend to understand. I then make some hand gestures in hope there is some sort of universal hand signal for "white food container" similar to the one for choking, but since the man next to her picked up the NWA World Traveler Magazine and motioned as if to ask that is what I was asking for, I realized there was no such signal.
I begin to get furious in my own head and ask myself, "how can a couple that speaks no english make it from whatever country they floated over to the states from and make it all the way to Vegas?" I then begin to realize that wasting such energy will do nothing to get my beloved sandwhich back, so I calm my self down.
It is now that I think back to what little I retained from any physics that I had during my schooling and I start working on plan B.
Plan B was to pray. My prayer went something like this:
Dear lord, when we make the turn onto the runway, and the pilot throws all three engines to WOT please, please, please let my sandwhich slowly slide back to me allowing me to enjoy a decent meal, and not have to pay again for whatever the airlines are offering me.
The pilot announces to the flight attendants to prepare for take off and cross check...
SIDE NOTE, WTF is cross check anyway...
...I pull my computer bag onto my lap, which I'm well aware is a violation of safety rules, all bags must be properly stowed above you or under the seat in front of you. I know if I'm questioned about this, I will explain the story about the turkey and cheddar, and the flight attendant would understand and let me hold the bag.
As we make the turn onto the run way, and you feel the engine power start to come up, all the passengers are going through their take off routines. Some lean their heads back and close their eyes, some couples hold hands, some people chew gum. I was totally 100% focused, looking directly down just in front of my feet waiting and hoping that I would see a 4" x 8" container slowly slide back into my possesion.
We are trucking down the runway, and the front of the plane slowly begins to lift. Shortly after the front wheels lifted off the ground, it appeared, my Charley's Sub turkey and cheddar sandwhich with honey mustard dressing.
I was happy, I can't remember the last time I was so happy. I thank the lord over and over again. The guy next to me who must have been paying better attention than I thought simply said, "hey, you got it back".
Yes I did, I got it back. I say this my friends with the utmost sincerity, I have never enjoyed a more mediocre sub in my life, and probably never will.
It was delicious.